Uncertain times but looking forward

I'm sat in my empty shop in front of a computer because I need to.  I need to say out loud how things are right now as a Florist during this terrible time of Corona Virus.  A human being going through this scary time when you are so fearful for your family, friends and the country and the future. Also a small business owner, like so many, who have seen their work, their passion, their team, their customers just disappear overnight.  

A roller coaster of emotion: the day I closed the shop, after a very strange but still lovely Mothers Day week started the first dip.  

On the Sunday morning I knew the right thing to do for my team and my customers was to close the shop - no risk to be had! I was alone in the shop late morning when Ricki and Trevor were out delivering and all bouquets had been collected, safely.  All stock had been sold - miraculously and I stood in my beautiful, empty shop and cried.  Yes a very selfish cry, a cry for my loss, the business I had built from nothing to one that was doing well. The loss of Jess the person who had been with me for most of the time, from Apprentice to Shop Manager and friend, the loss of all of the wonderful team who work in the shop or with me, the loss of my lovely customers and shop friends and the loss of the flowers and being able to create with them.   Funny thinking about it now I stood in a shop as empty as the brand new one I started with back on the 1 October 2016 - full circle.  

As I stood there Jo another florist walked through the door and asked how I was - she knew, as she was feeling the exact same feelings.  We both knew this was much bigger than us and knew our sadness was selfish but gave each other permission to do so just for that day.  I have watched and listened to the floristry industry over the last few weeks and the devastation that has occurred has been astonishing.  Seeing tonnes and tonnes of flowers destroyed at Aalsmeer, Holland as growers sent flowers to auction and they couldn't be sold.  So growers businesses hit, the auction and distributors, wholesalers and then the many floristry businesses.  Shops closing as non-essential - no income to pay the outgoings - waiting daily to see how the government will help - and they have to a degree.  Couples postponing their weddings they have planned and dreamt about for so long, grieving families unable to say goodbye to their loved ones in they way they would have wanted to - it breaks your heart.  

Two weeks of thoughts, of worry, of sadness, of fear are now turning into seeds of hope.  My brain is starting to function a little - I have always looked forward and now I want to plan, I want to hope and believe we will get through this stronger so I have to plan for the future.  I always say in the shop Adversity drives Creativity and this has been so true with many businesses I have seen since this has happened and I am going to keep creating and looking for new ways to brings flowers back into peoples lives as they may be seen as a luxury but they make people smile and feel great and that's what we need right now. Im going to keep looking forward :)